Why we all need that ONE café
The kind of space we can call home when we're not sure what we need
The red wine is definitely helping my creativity, and as everything around us is slowing down, I’ve been longing to write about coffee. It’s an odd thing to say out loud because very few of us want to write about the drink that keeps us awake, maybe even productive during a time when we’d rather take it easy, be lazy and watch Home Alone, or Love Actually for the fifth time (yes - totally guilty).
As we stepped out on Christmas morning for a long walk in the wintry sunshine, I scoured the streets for one of my cafés to be open but none were, until I started seeing people walking with takeaway cups. Noir Café was of course open and I would think a few others are too.. for a city as big as Paris, too many of us have a complicated relationship with Christmas, not to keep a café or two open for those who long to see another space than their living room, hotel lobby or simply their desk.
Here’s what I realised in that moment of mild panic, scanning closed doors: I don’t just want a café. I want my café. The one where the barista knows my coffee order by heart, where I have a favourite table to sit at to people watch and scribble in my notebook, and where showing up feels less like consuming and more like returning.
Whether you love coffee as much as I do or not, Starbucks is an institution you would have heard of, and most likely indulged in.
In the nineties, it offered us all a 3rd space to meet at, to study or even work at for a few hours a day without being ousted out because of low consumption, or for taking up too much space. I can still remember people using up two to three tables with their own monitor back then (!) and feeling totally cool with it… and so were the baristas, happily refuelling their cups with brewed coffee. I laugh thinking about it today - especially in Europe, where these guys would have been asked to leave IMMEDIATELY.
But though they were #1 for a long time, like everything else, we've grown accustomed to continuous improvement: (brilliant) specialty coffee is now available, new aesthetically pleasing spaces for our instagram stories pop up weekly (3 to 4 new places here in Paris), and our longevity obsession, as well as Gen Z habits, is driving demand for healthier "functional" drinks.
And when I pause for a second to think about the topical reads I've been consuming lately, it's mostly been about Starbucks, well, its “demise” (yes, let me be dramatic), and Luckin Coffee wanting to save Blue Bottle, along with Coca-Cola trying to rescue Costa Coffee. And I'm here wondering: isn't this finally the end of coffee chains as we know them?
And though many argue it is, I would say perhaps. But, in general, coffee chains are not disappearing. The ones that forgot about human connection being at the centre of any hospitality business are.
Because when chains only focus on scaling (and their bottom line) — you stop optimising for your true fans; the ones who come for their favourite drinks, and to exist for a while. And though there’s comfort in knowing we can get the same coffee in Paris as in Singapore, I genuinely think finding that one café that feels like a home is essential for our mental health, and overall wellbeing.
Because we all need a place outside of home, and the office where we can feel welcome. A space where we feel like we belong but above all, where we feel seen and understood no matter our mood, fashion style, or political ideas. All while feeling inspired because being outside home or the office, should be exciting - it should feel like anything and everything is possible.
I think that’s what we’re all looking for, really. Not the perfect coffee or the trendiest interior but a place where we can sit with our thoughts, our laptops, our messy emotions, and feel like we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be. A place that doesn’t ask anything of us except to show up.
And maybe that’s why I panicked a little when I couldn’t find an open café on Christmas day… home is lovely, but sometimes you need somewhere that feels like home without being home. Somewhere you can just exist, uninterrupted and unbothered, with your favourite coffee in hand.
Thanks for reading me ☕️
Julie
Julie, this landed just right.
It’s not about the coffee at all, is it — it’s about being recognized without having to explain yourself. A place where you don’t need a reason to sit, think, or just be slightly undone in public. That third space isn’t a luxury; it’s a nervous-system need.
I felt that Christmas-morning scan of closed doors so viscerally. Sometimes home is too close to your own thoughts, and what you need is a familiar room with just enough distance from yourself.
The cafés that survive won’t be the biggest or prettiest — they’ll be the ones that remember we’re not just customers. We’re returners.
💛 Kelly
We tend to view 'That One Cafe' as a luxury—a place to pause. But I view it as infrastructure.
In a world that is becoming increasingly digital and atomized, these physical nodes are the only things keeping the human mesh network intact.
It isn’t just about the coffee. It’s about having a 'Third Place' where the signal-to-noise ratio is managed by humans, not algorithms.
You aren't just buying a drink; you are paying rent on your sanity.
Protect these spaces.